Ah Christmas. I’m both happy and sad that it’s over. Happy because I was so stressed out that I caught a killer stomach flu. (I’m almost better?) Sad because I feel like I never really get to the heart of this particular holiday until it’s over. I haven’t even watched half of my required Christmas movies! Not even Little Women. *gasp* Anyway, the tree is still up. I’m sitting here watching the lights blink from my half lying down position and trying to forget about the past 3-4 days.
This year has not been easy. It has been the opposite of easy. Not that I expect entire years to be incredible. Sadly, an entire year is probably not going to go by without something difficult happening. But I do hope that maybe fewer difficult things occur in 2015. So far, the new year is asking me to just trust it. I would much prefer to say to the year “hey year! This is what I’d like to happen and how I’d like it to happen. Great! Thanks!” Now, the Universe cares not about doing things my way. But in 2014, ole Universy threw me some curve balls. Cuuurvy ones. It was just a general year-long life-implosion. At times, I felt like my entire life was in shambles. However, these implosions are all leading somewhere if they haven’t already. I may not know or understand the reason but I trust that there is one and that it has something to do with my personal growth.
My beloved grandmother died. She suffered a long illness and then end was very, very hard. Sometimes, when you say goodbye to someone for the last time, you know it’s the last time. I’m not sure it makes a big difference. I was crying too hard to say any of the things I might have wanted to say but I knew for a fact that it was the last time.
Friendships I thought were solid crumbled away leaving me devastated. Other more personal but really hard things happened and then 2014 was kind enough to send a horrible virus so that we’d be sure to remember her. (Don’t worry dear, we will never forget).
Fantastic and incredible things happened too. I met some new friends who mean the world to me (Hey Wenches) and I became an auntie! I got to be in the room while it happened too! I’ve witnessed a couple of births but I was pretty drugged up for both. And I had to do a lot of the work both of those times so it was totally different.
Then there was the day when I sat down to check email expecting a really annoying email (it was there) but also sitting in my inbox was the email. “Dear Anna, We love your book….and we want to publish it.” That wasn’t a horrible day. 🙂 Then there was the day when I got to see my name in print alongside the names of some of my favorite people ever.
So bring it on 2015. I’m not panicking about all the change. Change is good most of the time. Let’s just go bigger and better this year instead of sadder and harder. Let’s just kick 2015’s ass, mmmkay?